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Poster: jhender501 Date: Nov 25, 2006 8:55am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: I love it when....

I'm poking around looking for some blank CDs and stumble across a couple shows I made months ago, set on the shelf and never listened to!




Jim

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Poster: BryanE Date: Nov 25, 2006 12:46pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

Or when the house catches fire and what is left of the music collection that was not lost due to the blaze, smoke damage, and/or water destruction from the fire department doing its job is then looted by some heartless bastard thief who adds insult to injury by stepping into your unsecured dwelling that sits open because of the catastrophe and steals an entire 4'x8' cabinet's worth of CD's, but almost eleven months later you discover a small CD wallet with about a half dozen loose discs which were not claimed by the whole disaster. That's always nice when that happens.

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Poster: wineland Date: Nov 27, 2006 2:04pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

Bryan - I'll also be happy to send some music your way. So very sorry to hear about your son. I do hope he is healthy and doing well. Cool story about your bro-in-law rebuilding so quickly for you.

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Poster: BryanE Date: Nov 27, 2006 4:57pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

Wineland-
My stepson, actually, but thanks for the sentiments. At this point, I'm none too sure how I may have identified him in this forum, but he is my wife's oldest, turning (I think) 28 the day after Christmas (yeah, I should probably be more certain of his age, but what can I say? I married into a significant number of stepkids who were nearly grown for the most part when their mom and I met). He was patched back together after the fire as well as medicine could do so, which is to say he's got some pretty big scars on his back and arm, but he's okay.

It's been just about 11 months since that night that the fire struck, and we've been through quite a lot of ups & downs after that whole mess. Just part of the natural cycle, I guess. At least I keep trying to convince myself of that. If a relevant subject comes up for discussion, maybe I will detail our other trials and tribulations. God knows, I don't want to give the impression that I'm just a born whiner-even though I probably am, but that's beside the point-however, we have actually been through events since the fire that would make me wish that things had been that easy. And when I made mention of it here, it wasn't really to fish for any kind of charity, but the response has been truly awesome, and that is a word I try to avoid because it is so overused these days. It's true, though, and I don't believe I'll ever forget all of this wonderful, warm outpouring of support.

If only there were another word, but still, thanks!

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Poster: high flow Date: Nov 27, 2006 5:26pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

Hey everybody - Check the batteries in your smoke alarms...ok? Seriously.

I'll check my collection, which is rather modest, but...

Any other albums from your past lost? Post the titles, or pass them to Arbuthnot, I am certain he has my email address.

Glad to hear things are getting better.

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Poster: sparky999255 Date: Nov 25, 2006 7:39pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

bryan...add me to the list of those willing to help replace any shows

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Poster: mcglone Date: Nov 25, 2006 7:45pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

"Moral to that story: give your Mom and Dad a hug and tell them that you love them while you still can"

will do just that tomorrow my friend.

i'm with high flow, cush, arbuthnot & sparky (and i'm sure everyone else) let's get you some music.

no worries if your not comfortable sharing your contact info. email me at campfireditties@hotmail.com and we'll get the ball rolling! you'll be knee deep in live music before christmas!

ian

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Poster: cush11 Date: Nov 25, 2006 2:02pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

Me too! I've had alot of cd's and dvd's disappear over the last few months, don't know if I'm getting ripped off or what, but I can relate! happy to help if I can...

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Poster: Arbuthnot Date: Nov 25, 2006 2:09pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

What 'high flow' & 'cush212' says. Also glad to help you with whatever you're looking for, and never a need to reply in kind.

This post was modified by Arbuthnot on 2006-11-25 22:09:05

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Poster: BryanE Date: Nov 27, 2006 1:26pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

Hey Arbuthnot-

My wife has encouraged me to gratefully (no pun intended) take y'all up on this thing, so my wish list for Dead shows to have back in my personal library is as follows:
10/10/76; 6/25/78; 2/11/79; 6/28/79; 7/1/79; 12/9/79; 6/8/80; 8/16/80; 7/8/81; 12/6/81; 8/4/82; 8/7/82; 8/8/82; 7/6/84; 7/7/84; 6/21/85; 6/22/85; 6/26/87; 6/27/87; 6/22/88; 4/9/89; 7/17/89; 7/1/92; 6/11/93; 3/16/94; 7/23/94; 7/24/94; 7/25/94

I used to have a number of other oddball things from throughout the span of the Dead's career, but it looks as if these are all the shows I ever saw, and that seems to be as good of a place to start as any. I wish I could say there were more on the list of those that I did see. I met guys over the years who had seen upwards of 300 and even more. Lucky SOB's. Obviously, almost all of these were Midwestern gigs, as close to home as I could manage to travel during summer breaks from college and the like. Not necessarily all that many of them were even the hottest of shows in the history of the universe or anything, but there's a personal story attached to each and every one of them, and some of those stories are actually pretty entertaining, interesting, or otherwise worth the time of some utterly bored individual to hear.

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Poster: cush11 Date: Nov 27, 2006 11:35pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

Hey Bryan, The very BEST Grateful Dead concerts were alwyas the ones we got to go to!!! I think you are going to end up with a very fine library. There are very generous people here, they'll see to your needs. If I have anything to add to it, I certainly and happily will!

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Poster: BryanE Date: Nov 28, 2006 8:31am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

Cush,
One thing I loved about The Grateful Dead is that they were so gloriously imperfect, therefore unpredictability was always a distinct possibility. Plus, what looks good on paper may actually have been strange and disjointed in person, and the opposite could have been true, as well. For instance, I remember a show at the Rosemont Horizon that I included on that wish list that's been posted. At the end of the night, I was able to say, "Hey, I finally got to see Dark Star." In fact, though, it was kind of a pedestrian delivery that only included verse 1. The highlight of the show for me was what might have been disregarded as a first-set throwaway, but sometimes you never know, and Beat It On Down The Line that night was nothing short of a total hoot! Plus I got to gang up close to the stage with a bunch of new-found Dead Head friends whom I had been getting to know since moving to the city, and who had bought a block of seats on the day they went on sale. Membership always has its priveleges.

As per, will stay in touch about re-booting my library.

On that other front, perhaps my legacy won't be that I was a dumb-ass in life, and that someday I'll be able to swallow my damned pride so I can patch it up with my brother and sister. But for now, there's still a whole lot of pain there. Hope does spring eternal, though.

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Poster: cush11 Date: Nov 28, 2006 9:33am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

When it's meant to be it will happen... Pertains to most everything! I know what you mean about GD shows. I know a few times that if I saw the set list on paper i would have said what a snoozer, when in fact the show smoked!!!

As to family, 6 weeks ago I was still very bitter. Then just before halloween I realized my sisters 50th birthday was coming up and I said to myself... Self, send her a birthday card and see what happens. We,ve been in touch now and it is good. The last time I saw my nieces they were 11 & 12 (?), now they are beautiful young women (17& 18) and doing very well! Don't miss too much my friend!

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Poster: BryanE Date: Nov 25, 2006 3:43pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

One quick note: hopefully, readers of my post can detect the humor in it, dark and ironic though it might have been.

In reply to all who replied to my post: Yup, it actually happened to me/us. Thanks for the offer. I very well may get back to you all on that front. What's important is that we're in our home, reasonably healthy, with furniture and food, and have been since about a month or so after the fire, which took place 12/29/05. My stepson suffered severe burns in the incident and spent about two weeks or so in a St Louis-area hospital burn unit, but has recovered. Lucky for us that my brother-in-law has his own construction company and assigned a crew to get in here to put the place back together immediately, so our family was much better prepared to respond than most who face the same sort of situation. What it comes down to is that most of what we lost in the fire amounted only to THINGS, and THINGS can, to some degree or another, be replaced. Sadly, in the months before the fire, much of my loss in life consisted of loved ones who had passed away, and those losses cannot be replaced. Very bad year, 2005. Moral to that story: give your Mom and Dad a hug and tell them that you love them while you still can.

This post was modified by BryanE on 2006-11-25 23:43:39

This post was modified by BryanE on 2006-11-25 23:43:53

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Poster: cush11 Date: Nov 25, 2006 3:51pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

My family is all gone except for a sister, by adoption (and maybe a new twin brother, see the holy crap thread). The sister is real though, we had been estranged and had not spoken to each other in over 5 years. Her 50th birthday was Nov. 5th and I remembered and extentended the proverbial olive branch. Mnay miles separate us but we have corresponded and spoken, and it felt, no feels very good! Glad you came through your crisis with what is important! The offer still stands though. Love, light health and happiness to you, yours and all of this somewhat odd (but fun) little electronic family! Jon

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Poster: BryanE Date: Nov 27, 2006 5:33pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

Cush-
Please forgive the fact that I dragged my feet in responding. I will get back to you later about your kind offer regarding the restoration of my music collection.

Believe me, knowing how you've lost your family prompts immense sympathy from me. Before 2005, I could have said that and really meant it, but now it's a whole different story, and my feelings toward others who are now without family run deeper than I ever could have imagined, or would have wanted to imagine.

In Julius Caesar, the soothsayer says to "Beware the ides of March." I never could have known that Shakespeare was speaking directly to me. At about 5 PM on March 15th, my 66-year-old mother had a sudden devastating stroke. She called me at home and told me what I never expected to hear her say, which is that something had happened and she was having a problem and needed help. My wife, Tina, and I live less than a mile away, and we wasted no time in driving over there. Mom and I didn't understand at the time what was wrong, but Tina was immediately able to interpret her symptoms of a headache, confusion, and an inability to understand words printed on a magazine that sat in front of her on the coffee table for what they were. Her own mother had survived a stroke for a number of months before passing away several years ago, and what she saw in my Mom was only too frighteningly familiar. Always the one to care for others, though, Mom refused to go with me to the ER at that point, insisting instead for me to go to the hospital and check on my 76-year-old Dad, who had been admitted a few days earlier. Against my better judgment, Tina and I left her there, and as we walked to our car, she said, "Bryan, she's had a stroke."

Well, I went to Dad, who was on the rebound and was happy and ready to be discharged the next day. I withheld the news from him, said, "Hey, that's great, Dad! Here's a peanut butter cup. See ya' later," and left. I went back to Mom, whom I had to somehow outwit in order to get her to go to the hospital. I told her that if she didn't ride out there with me, that I would definitely call an ambulance, and they would come and strap her onto a gurney, and wouldn't she rather just go with me than to have to go through all that? She saw my point, so she surrendered to me, and we got in the car. Just as we were pulling up to the ER, the headache became unbearable. I helped her into a wheelchair, and rolled her up to the admitting station where the nurses on duty immediately responded to what they could see was a very serious situation. She was brought to a bed and was asked simple questions-her name, where she was-but she couldn't reply. Within minutes she was in a coma. About a three-quarters of an hour later, a neurologist was telling me that she would either enter a vegetative state and could be kept on life support, or we could simply allow her to die. The choice was mine. Nothing I had ever been through in my life could have ever prepared me for that moment, and I stood there, struggling to hold back tears, completely unable to offer any kind of rational response.

I had called my brother before I received the prognosis. He is a year older and lives about forty miles away. He arrived minutes after the neurologist had spoken to me. He was simple, quiet, and direct: "No. Let her go." No matter what has gone down since then, and there's been a LOT, I will always respect the strength of mind he had right then because I know only too well that it was no easier for him to have said that than it would have been for me.

Then we had to go tell Dad. I can't begin to describe the next few hours.

He was discharged late the next morning. My sister, two years older than I, had taken the red-eye to St. Louis from her home in Oregon and was met at the airport by our brother, who drove her on in to southern Illinois where we live. Shortly after Tina and I had gotten Dad home, a call came from the hospital to tell me that Mom's breathing had ceased. I went back to the hospital. There I found my brother and sister standing by Mom's bed. We stood close by and watched as her heart finally stopped beating.

A couple of days or so after the funeral, my brother and sister then proceeded to align themselves with each other, alienating me from our Dad's care and doing everything they could to shut me out. And I thought it was a shock to go through the death of my mother.

I refused to go quietly, though. After an ordeal in which I, too, became hospitalized, a victim of pneumonia and unforseeable stress that resulted in a spate of epileptic seizures, I re-entered my Dad's life, in spite of my siblings, and spent the next six to seven months doing everything I could to tend to his needs. Tina and our daughter, Katelyn, were right there with me, too. We held with him up until his death in late October.

I am still estranged from my brother and sister. I am not happy that things turned out the way they did, but the choice was their's, not mine. I have prayed that someday I will find forgiveness in my heart and that we can restore our relationship to what it once was, but those prayers have yet to be answered. Do I sympathize with what you've been through? Yes, friend, I most certainly do. I never realized just how much I loved my parents until they were gone, either. And although it was such a sad, sad time for the two of us, I know, and I believe my Dad knew as well, that after Mom was gone, he and I shared something over that half-year that was nothing short of a gift to both of us. And my prayers have included thanks to God for that gift.

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Poster: cush11 Date: Nov 27, 2006 8:48pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

No apology needed my friend... This may take me a bit to do justice in replying. My heart goes out to you and your family! It wasn't sudden with my parents, but it's still hard. I wasn't with my Mom when she went, but I was with her for her last lucid moments and spent that last night with her. Try to make it right with your siblings, don't be a dumbass like me and wait 5-6 years like I did! Keep the faith brother! Stay in touch...







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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Nov 25, 2006 7:43pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

bryan - add me to the list too along with the other kind LMA members here too - we would all like to help out in your time of need - may the Lord help your family's recovery in all aspects. feel free to call on me with whatever i may be able to help with - we are clan!!

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Poster: high flow Date: Nov 25, 2006 1:30pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

If that happend to you, I'm sorry to hear it. Maybe you can post your email address and we can help restore your collection and faith in humanity.

OR, list the shows/albums you miss most and let us do what we can...

Glad to help.

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Poster: mcglone Date: Nov 25, 2006 9:20am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I love it when....

or when you find a splif between the couch cushions before the vacuum does!